Guest Blogger - Kevin! "Promises bring new memories"

Hello all!  I have taken over the blog for a special post that I wanted to share with you.  First, I want to thank everyone for all the love, thoughts, and prayers sent our way.  It was overwhelming.  My dad was truly larger than life and loved by so many.

I wanted to share a personal story and moment that I had with my father.

As my dad's health was deteriorating, I made multiple trips back home to sit with him at the hospital. This was special time for us.  I held his hand, told him I loved him over and over and just talked.  I talked to him about everything and anything.  The problem I had was that it was just about the past or the present.  My dad needed to know about his future life and all the great things he was going to be a part of.  I made a promise to myself that on the next trip up, I was going to fill him in on a few things that I have not told anyone.

I flew up the following Monday as his prognosis worsened.  I rushed to the hospital eager to tell him a few things that he needed to know.  I sat next to him and he looked at me and whispered he loved me and gave me a fist bump.  I told him I loved him and also said, "Dad, I need to tell you a few things about your future.  I don't know when these things are going to happen, but I promise that it

will.  First, you are going to have another grand pup.  His or her name is going to be Cannoli and they will be a goldendoodle.  Second, you will have another grandchild one day.  We hope when we do get pregnant, it will be a girl.  Her name will be......" (obviously I can't spill the beans to the rest of you.  Only he knows.)  He looked at me and smiled and whispered, "Thank you for sharing.  I love you so much"  It was an amazing moment that I am so happy we had and I will never forget it.

Great story right?  Well, put away your tissues because now we get to explore my father's terrible sense of humor.  Recently I get a call from my wife that there is a group of Goldendoodles looking to be adopted.  They were the color and weight we were looking for and once again, needed good homes.  I was reluctant to go, but I just made a promise to my dad on his death bed about the future dog.  Surely, he was not expecting me to get one now was he?

The whole family makes the ride to see the puppies.  We show up to see the runt of the litter.  The foster mom tells us about her.  She mentions that they did not think this dog was going to live.  They said that she was one of the toughest fighters they have ever seen.  She would drag herself to her mother so she could get food and she never stopped fighting.  Now she was just as playful and full of energy as the rest of her siblings.  She was also the sweetest, most caring puppy.  All she wanted to do when she was not playing was to have her belly rubbed and snuggle.  Heather and I looked at each other and thought, an animal that never stops fighting and is filled with love and kindness, is this a sign?  To me, it was.  My dad fought cancer until the end and was one of the most loving, and caring out there.  How do we not adopt this pup? He is pretty much telling us that we need to, right?

Well dad, thanks.  We did adopt Cannoli and my promise of the future grand pup is here.  I know you would have loved her and would have wrestled her up and down the house and loved to take her potty.

To everyone else, we are happy to introduce Cannoli to the family.  She will be anywhere between 30-40lbs.  She still has to pass a few state tests before she can come home but we think she will be here right after Christmas.  We are looking forward to getting her and know that Grandpa would be beyond excited.

Thanks for spending time with me.  I am now turning this back over to Heather!  This is too much work! Oh and ps, we aren't pregnant.  Sorry mom......

  Old school BBall Picture

                                                                        Cannoli!!!!!!

A Sad Goodbye

It is with the heaviest of hearts that I write this, Kevin's father has passed away this afternoon.

I started writing this entry several times, and on each occasion I had to walk away because I couldn't find the right words.  I would write in my head as I ran, or had time to gather my thoughts and little by little I've pieced this together.  I planned on having this written before he passed because in a way it's a letter to him too, but things all happened so quickly that I didn't have enough time- there never is enough time when it comes to a loved one being with us on earth.  Today the words seem to flow effortlessly, maybe because he's standing beside me writing this entry with me.

When I started this blog, I like any other new parent envisioned all the wonderful things life has to offer a tiny new human. When you daydream about what your child's story will be you never include all the heartbreak and sadness that every life accrues, and then something like this happens and you realize it's part of living.  I haven't talked about Kevin's dad's fight with cancer before because I simply assumed that this would be a small blip in his life story.  That he would once again over come the cancer and it would be part of his life story and not Landon's.  Sadly, that isn't the case and it's just as much part of Landon's story than ever.

As I've said before, I have always hoped that one day when Landon's older he'd read this blog and look back at it as a baby book of sorts.  It's been the most difficult entry that I've ever had to write and the best way I know how is to put it into a letter.  I'm just sorry I never finished this before he passed.

Dear Landon,

Tears fill my eyes as I write you this letter.  It's not an easy one to write, as you can imagine but right now you're too young to understand all that's happening around you.  A small part of me is thankful for this, because I'm thankful that I can at least shield you from the unimaginable pain that one feels when they loose a loved one.  The bigger part of me is so sad that you will grow up not knowing this amazing person.  I think that's the hardest part for your dad and I as we face this.  Not the loss for ourselves, because even though it's never enough time, we had time with your Grandpa.  We shared memories and laughter and love with him.  Our hearts break for you,  because you will never have memories of this larger than life man.

I wish so much that you could have grown up with this special person in your life.  You so deserve to learn about him for yourself.  I promise as you grow older and you ask us questions about him, I'll do my best to describe your Grandpa, but I don't think that I could ever find the words to adequately to so.  I apologize for that.  It's hard to do him justice by only words- he was a presence you just needed to be around to fully understand the greatness of this man.   He had a personality larger than life - his laugh could fill a room, his smile warm your heart and his positive attitude become infectious.  If the world had more people like your Grandfather it would be a much better place.

Grandpa cried tears of joy when we told him that we were pregnant with you.  I don't think anyone was more excited to have you join our family then he was- and even though your time together was short he cherished every single moment with you.  From the first time he met you and you would nap in his arms, to the last time when you joyiously ran around the living room as he passed you pieces of donuts.

Know that Grandpa didn't leave this world without a fight.  He fought this cancer with more strength and vigor than humanly possible.  I assure you that he did so in part for you, to watch you grow up and share your life with you.  I know it'll be hard but there will be moments in life where you'll pause and feel sad that he isn't there to partake in joyous occasion.  It'll be ok to feel sad, because all of us will but don't feel sad that he can't see you, he'll always be there watching you, filling the room with more pride than you could imagine.

We promise to keep his memory alive in you Landon, so you never will feel like you didn't know who this man was.  That you always feel his love for you, and that you will grow up becoming the person he would have hoped you to become.

Love,
Mom

Punkin' Pickin'

A blog of little words... and many pictures! 

Vogue pose.

School is tough work, and daddy's have comfy shoulders. 

It's a jellycat party.  

A good sales rep takes lots of notes while meeting with his clients. 

Vedder loves all things squeaky and as much as it pains him, many of Landon's toys squeak, rattle and roll.  So, in this particular taunting session Landon just happened to be in the tub with a very appealing rubber duck.  The story is depicted perfectly in the pictures...

Punkin' Pickin'

To put things in perspective, here was Landon last year at the pumpkin patch... it's insane how much he's grown in a year! 

Usually when we go to the pumpkin patch Kev and I each pick our own pumpkins to later carve in our annual carve off.  (It's a shame I always win.)  This year, the pumpkin patch had so many giant pumpkins that we came up with the idea to do one giant family pumpkin.  The result was a 45 pound pumpkin, and a great family adventure!

A Month of Travel

I broke my promise to blog more often... it's been well over a month and I apologize!  We're still wading through the craziness of our personal lives and I'm still trying to get adjusted to life as a teacher again!

One of our dearest friends here in Atlanta is coincidentally also from Youngstown and we made the journey to Ohio in August for her wedding.  To say that the wedding was beautiful was an understatement AND we had the BEST time.  I think I'll bring all my Georgia friends to every wedding I go to.  The best part about traveling to a wedding in Ohio, is that we have built in babysitters that we don't need to pay!  Landon got to have some special alone time with both Kevin's parents while we were at the wedding and my Mom and Step dad while we partied in Cleveland!  To say that he was spoiled when he got to their houses would be an understatement.  New toys and all the love an affection he could want from both houses!

Watching the airplanes!

Traveling wears you out!

Grandma and Grandpa Freaney have the coolest chairs- there's even one that's my size that I can rock in.    

Fun at Grandma and Papa T's house!

City boy in the country.  (He was probably confused with all the grass.) 

Our usual Cleveland shenanigans 

The week after the wedding I started my first week of school.  I have a class of two-year-olds on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and toddlers on Tuesday and Thursday.  The first couple weeks of school was rough, there were a few children that had some separation anxiety and as they say at the nursery in the hospital "Once one starts singing they get the whole choir going."  Thankfully, my co-teacher and I have a good sense of humor and were able to just look at each other and laugh when half your children are sobbing hysterically.  Now that we're a month deep into school the children have all adjusted well and my sanity is back in tact...for the most part.  

We had another wedding in September, this one in Charleston to see Kevin's cousin and his partner get married.  They sweetly invited us to the rehearsal dinner and I don't think anyone had as much fun as Landon did (he was definitely trying to steal the spotlight.)  I think it may have been the most fun night of this man's life!  He danced the entire night, staying up with the crowd like he was 21 and not 1.  (Not to worry, his fake ID didn't work and he wasn't served any adult beverages.)  While we were in Charleston we all got to spend some time with Aunt Mallory, and she was kind enough to give up a few hours of her social life to watch the little guy while Mom and Dad enjoyed a wedding child free!

He rides to Charleston in style.  Clearly.

Dancing Queen?  You mean Dancing King!

Even Dancing Kings get tired and need their Jellycats and daddy snuggles.

My hot date.

Driving home with all our puppies... including one of our new Jellycats we convinced dad to buy us!  (And poor guy had the worst cold ever driving home.  Hence the baggy eyes.) 

Landon's walking has since turned the running, and we can't even blink an eye because before we know it he's in a different room, always getting into the one thing he's not supposed to.  Having him walk has been so much fun, he's gained a new sense of independence and because of this our arms are getting a much needed break!

Landon had his 15 month appointment at the doctor's office on Friday.  The doctor said that we're doing a great job, we have a happy, healthy little boy.  He's measuring at 33 inches long (93rd percentile) and 26 pounds (73rd percentile for his age, although for his age and height it's the 54th percentile.)  It's always nice to be reassured you're raising your child right (that is until we get to the teenage years...) 

Kev and I have decided to put the iron fist down with the pacifier and Landon is only allowed to have it during nap time or bedtime.  In the few short days since we've implemented this new rule he's learned two new words!  Bye Bye and touchdown (sorry Jen we copied, when I told Kevin that Molly says touchdown the dad jealously kicked in and we had to teach him too!)  Our expansive vocabulary now includes bye bye, ball, dog, touchdown, mama, dada and (sometimes Daddy), baba and of course he still barks like a dog (which clearly is the most normal one of them all?)  

For those who know me, fall is clearly my favorite time of year and Halloween is my favorite holiday.  Nothing beats a pumpkin spice latte, mums in buckets and ghost stories.  So, of course when all the fall decorations came down Vedder's torturous duty of trying on all kinds of ridiculous outfits was passed onto Landon.  Which lead to a laugh-until-you-cry kinda afternoon for Kevin and I... please enjoy the following pictures (and yes, the costumes are all dog costumes.) 

Okay, enough with the chatter.  Here are some of our favorite pictures from the past month...

Brotherly love.

Shooting hoops.

Enjoying the food trucks... our favorite weekday event.

Yup, child loves limes.  Sucks them dry and we cringe watching him do so. 

The real King of the Castle on his throne.

Water fun while it's still warm!

Our new favorite game is to push puppy around in a dinning room chair.  Puppy only allows for it to happen because occasionally Landon passes the dining room table, which allows for him to attempt to jump up on the table to where the food is. 

You wanna share that food, I know you do.

Landon loves couscous, mom doesn't want to clean it off the floor... so we eat it in our diaper on the porch.  Totally normal. 

A cozy Saturday morning activity, dancing in our dog's bed. 

A good book is just too hard to put down.

A rough day at school.